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Doug Duncan, MS, LPC, is a therapist in the Dallas metroplex specializing in recovery from cultic and spiritual abuse. Doug was a member of an aberrant religious group for more than twenty years and it was that experience that led to his commitment to help others heal from abusive groups or cultic experiences. After leaving the cult with his wife, Wendy, he began the task of rebuilding his life. Doug enrolled in a master’s program in counseling and earned a degree and license to practice therapy. In addition to his private practice, Doug works as a case manager at BCBS. Wendy Duncan is a licensed social worker and holds a master’s degree from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. She has spent most of her career in the mental health field and recently retired from Garland Behavioral hospital. Wendy was also a former member of a pseudo-Christian, Bible-based group, and several years after leaving, she became active in cult awareness activities. She and Doug started a support group over thirteen years ago and continue to facilitate this monthly support group. Wendy is also a member of the International Cultic Studies Association and has presented talks and moderated panels at ICSA conferences. One of her greatest achievements was writing the book, I Can’t Hear God Anymore: Life in a Dallas Cult, the true story of the couple’s involvement in and eventual separation from a spiritually abusive group.
Website: www.dallascult.com Email: info@dallascult.com. Phone: (214) 607-1065
Doug & Wendy Duncan
The support group meets in the Dallas, Texas area on the third Saturday of each month from 4-6 pm. We are currently meeting via Zoom due to the coronavirus. The group provides a safe place to discuss your personal experience as a former member, a nonjudgmental group of peers, and basic educational information about cultic groups. If you are interested, please e-mail us at info@dallascult.com for more information. At one of our support groups, a woman who I met and invited to join our group 5 years ago, came for the first time. She read the email notices every month, but work and other obstacles prevented her from coming. Our monthly support group, and especially newcomers, inspire me and renew my belief in the power of groups in the healing process from cultic and spiritual abuse. In Judith Hermann’s book, Trauma and Recovery, she writes, “The core experiences of psychological trauma are disempowerment and disconnection from others. Recovery, therefore, is based upon the empowerment of the survivor and the creation of new connections. Recovery can take place only within the context of relationships; it cannot occur in isolation.” Contact with ex-members is invaluable and is often regarded as essential for a return to normal life according to Swartling and Swartling, (1992). West and Martin (1996) also confirm that post-cult recovery can be supported by testimonials from other ex-members. I hope you will consider joining our support group. The support group is free and there is no pressure to talk or to come back. Many people attend for some time, drop out, and return occasionally because of a specific need or interest. Some people only come once but are interested in staying on the email list because of articles that are occasionally sent. It takes a lot of courage to attend the first time, but the group is comprised of amazing people and you will feel supported. Our meeting space is in North Dallas, but during the coronavirus pandemic, we are meeting via Zoom. Best,Wendy J. DuncanEmail: wendyjduncan19@gmail.com214-607-1065 (land)
What the Support Group is:
  • Opportunity to share in a safe place
  • Peer support in a nonjudgmental group
  • Basic educational information
What Does It Cost? Just your willingness to come. We do not charge for attendance at the support groups.When Do the Support Groups Meet? The Dallas area support group meets on the 3rd Saturday of each month from 4:00 to 6:00 pm. In order to ensure a safe environment for all participants, an initial telephonic or face-to-face meeting with the facilitators is required prior to an invitation to attend the support group. The purpose is to:
  • Explain the purpose and guidelines of the support group
  • Determine if the individual can benefit from this support group;
  • Screen out individuals who are posing as former cult members

I Can't Hear God Anymore

Written in first person, I Can’t Hear God Anymore: Life in a Dallas Cult chronicles the experiences of the author and her husband who became members of a religious cult and finally, years later, were able to leave after recognizing the deception. The book describes the couple’s individual vulnerabilities and the spiritual and emotional manipulations that were used to keep them bound to the group. The author then examines the struggle that occurs with leaving a cult and starting a new life of faith. I Can’t Hear God Anymore addresses the issues that face former members after they leave a cult, and how they can find their way back to spiritual and psychological health. The author covers the loss of one’s identity and purpose, the intense loneliness, and the fear that God has abandoned them. Though the focus is primarily on the author and her husband, there will be stories related by other former members of this same religious group. The author explores the clever workings of a charismatic cult leader and the manipulative techniques that were used. She also discusses how individuals can find their way back to spiritual and psychological health. In our society, we are careful to teach and learn about sexual harassment and abuse so that lives are not ruined. Just as importantly, we must warn others of the dangers of religious abuse.
Author's Note: My hope is that this book, I Can’t Hear God Anymore: Life in a Dallas Cult, can provide spiritual healing to former members of cults and help others understand how “normal” people can get caught up in cult-like groups. This story can prevent others from falling into the grip of a religious cult, and encourage those who are involved in one to have the courage to leave. In our society, we are careful to teach and learn about sexual harassment and abuse so that lives are not ruined. Just as importantly, we must warn others of the dangers of religious abuse.

Coping with Triggers

by carol Giambalvo

"Floating" is a word often used in association with "trancing out," "spacing out," "being triggered," or "dissociation." Ex-cult members describe it in several ways, including (but not limited to) feeling disconnected, feeling as though you're watching yourself live your life, having spells where you experience uncontrollable emotions (usually sadness or anger) that is not appropriate to what is happening at the moment. It is also described as having exaggerated physical sensations, having anxiety or mild panic attacks, or having a fantasy or dream-like vision, almost like a dream that invades your waking state. Most ex-members report that these experiences make them feel as though there is something drastically wrong with them; they feel as though they may be going crazy. The purpose of this article is to take the fear out of these experiences and bring about some understanding that they are not abnormal. Triggered experiences are common to people who have been through a traumatic experience or prolonged periods of stress. Life in a cult is stressful and, for some former members, extremely traumatic. In addition, cults induce altered states of consciousness in many ways. Some cults produce trance-induced experiences through meditation, chanting, speaking in tongues, guided visualization, auditing, and/or decreeing. Other cults produce dissociative states when putting members through long, confrontational ("struggle") sessions. Still, others overload the senses through rhythmic drumming, music, information overload, or simply through long, emotionally laden sermons or lectures. Periods of "floating" are usually brought on by a "trigger." Dr. Margaret T. Singer speaks of the importance of being able to define and label these varying experiences. To define the word "trigger," she uses the following examples: "It triggered my memory of . . . "; "it reminds me of . . . "; "it made me recall or re-experience memories." What is memory? It is equally important to understand what memory is. A lot of people think that memories are stored in our minds much like a videotape of an event, to be replayed at some future time. However, memory is actually stored in bits and pieces. Memories are a reconstruction of times past, recalled in the present, and can be influenced by new experiences and new information received since the time the bits and pieces were stored. What causes triggers? Triggers for post-cult memories depend upon what group an individual belonged to, the philosophy and practices of the group, and individual personal experiences in the group. For former members of an Eastern guru-based group that used incense in meditation or rituals, the smell of incense can be a powerful trigger. For former members of a large group awareness training that uses modern music as people are entering the room and during exercises, hearing one of those songs on the car radio can be a powerful trigger (please pull off the road if this happens to you!). Ex-members of Bible-based groups can be triggered by hearing the word "amen" with the same accent and emphasis that the leader used, or by singing hymns sung in the group or reading scriptures that were overemphasized in the group. The loaded language used in groups can also be a trigger. What is "floating" or "dissociation?"In cult experience, members dissociate in order to adapt to the stress of cult life and to protect themselves from the group's contradictory agenda and demand for subservience.Dissociation is a normal mental response to anxiety. Momentary anxiety arises when internal or external cues (triggers) set off a memory, a related idea, or a state of feeling that has anxiety attached to it. This brief anxiety experience alerts the mind to split off — that is, the mind stops paying attention to the surrounding reality of the moment. The person becomes absorbed and immersed in some other mental picture, idea, or emotion. This dissociation occurs unexpectedly and unintentionally and it is this dissociation that can be experienced as a floating effect.When triggered into a dissociative state after leaving a cult, it can also trigger resentment and anger at being restrained while in the group — have been unable to get up and leave lectures, the lack of freedom, and lack of other normal defense mechanisms. When does it happen? Any non-focused, monotonous, repetitive activity can trigger the old state of dissociation because one becomes flooded by the repetition. There are times when a trigger can arise m a normal, everyday environment. Ex-members are most susceptible to triggers when anxious, lonely, stressed, tired, distracted, ill or uncertain.How to deal with triggers: Dr. Singer emphasizes the primary need for education, specifically psychoeducation. She advises ex-members to learn about trance states, how they are induced, the results of trance states, and, specifically how your group used them. Also, learn the vocabulary used to identify and label the normal human processes that describe triggers:
  • Dissociation — a sudden, temporary alteration in the normally integrative functions of consciousness, identity, or motor behavior.
  • Depersonalization — one's sense of one's own identity and reality is temporarily lost — "who am l?"
  • Derealization — a sense of the reality of the external world is lost — "where am I?" "Is this real?"
Secondly, learn how to protect yourself. After leaving a highly controlled environment, you need your own space and personal time. Learning to establish healthy personal boundaries after a cult experience takes time and patience. You may want to purchase an answering machine and even monitor your calls. Remember, you don't have to answer all calls, especially calls from the group. Ex-members benefit tremendously from ex-member support groups. However, not all of us are fortunate enough to live in a location where a support group meets. So you need to establish your own support system. Even one person you can talk to who understands can be very helpful. Some ex-members have set up a support system over the telephone or the internet. For your own protection, resist the urge to rescue people you left behind in the cult. Remember, they know the guilt buttons to push and all the phobia indoctrination to use. These could cause triggers for you, even as well prepared as you think you are. Third, Dr. Singer recommends that you get exit counseling. This is part of the psychoeducational process. This does not have to be a formal exit counseling. Fourth, Dr. Singer warns ex-members about going to a "normal" therapist, meaning one not knowledgeable about the effects of a thought reform environment. Therapists tend to blame it on the ex-member, on their masochism, their dependency issues, or their parents . . . "blame the victim." And let's take the negative connotation out of the word "victim." Yes, we were the victims of a very sophisticated system of thought reform, of deception, of guilt and fear manipulation. Perhaps we were in a transitional stage where we were looking for more answers for our life than usual or were looking for new friends, looking for spirituality, looking for somewhere to belong. A group took our best qualities and used them for their own benefit while taking our vulnerabilities and using them to exploit and manipulate us. The other side of it is that we survived! It took a lot of courage to leave the group and it takes a lot of courage to get our lives back together. But, what do I do when I'm in the middle of being triggered? First, respect your fragile moments. The intensity of the triggered states decreases as time goes on and as you educate yourself. Second, learn what helps you most when you are triggered. Some suggestions Dr. Singer makes are:
  • divert your attention elsewhere (exercise, scrub the floor, etc.)
  • suppress — you don't have to talk about it or analyze it
  • minimize — say to yourself "I'm not going crazy. I'm just a little anxious right now. It will pass"
It helps to learn a way to bring yourself back to reality quickly by getting some sensory change. Some recently departed ex-members find it helpful to wear a rubber band around their wrist and "snap" themselves when they find themselves dissociating. Others, like myself, use the "pinch" method. Dissociation is a habit. It has been taught to you well over months or years in a cult. It's a tough habit to break. It takes patience. If you want it gone yesterday, you may be experiencing one of the other residuals of being in an intense, high-demand group where everything had to be done yesterday. Taking time and patience with yourself is a post cult lesson well worth the learning!

About the Author

I was a member of a religious cult, the Trinity Foundation, for seven years and worked for the Trinity Foundation publication, The Wittenberg Door, the “world’s only religious satire magazine,” from 1998-2000. As a Christian who was raised in the mainstream Southern Baptist denomination, who has earned an undergraduate degree in Sociology and a master’s degree in Religious Education from one of the world’s foremost Protestant seminaries—Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary—and who has worked in the mental health field for twenty years, I should have been the last person to join a cult! Since renouncing my membership in the Trinity Foundation, I have been on a quest to understand the dynamics of my involvement in this spiritually abusive group. By reading numerous books on cults, interviewing former members, reviewing my personal journal entries, and the e-mail exchanges my husband and I had during the first two years after we left the Trinity Foundation, I have obtained some insight into how individuals become involved in religiously abusive groups or cults and what they need to do in order to transition out of a controlling, authoritarian organization. I Can’t Hear God Anymore: Life in a Dallas Cult was written for all the former members of this group and groups like it who have lost their way. I pray they will find hope and inspiration from my story, and learn that, even after being involved in an abusive religious cult, there is a way back to psychological health, freedom, happiness, and, ultimately, even a way back to God. Wendy J. Duncan
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